Letter to My Husband

To the Love of My Life,

I just want to write you a short-or maybe long, I don't know yet...so it's a surprise!-note about how much I love you and sort of explain things. I am not really sure what you expected of me way back when...you know, when you proposed, when I was a saner, skinnier and kid-less version of myself.

There are a few things I want to clarify:

First of all, anything cooked at home should be considered home-made. After all, it was made in the home, right? That's good enough of a definition for me! So all those hamburger helper meals...made from home with love for you and my little ones.

TO SETTLE THIS FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL....I do not and have never snored. If I did, then for all of your threats, you'd already have a recording. And you don't. So I win. Fin.

I'd probably shave my legs more often, but I have these two little growths called Our Sons that occupy a lot of my free time. But I figure that I can always start styling it. I'm sure grooming them will be easier than shaving every day. I could always wax, but I'm afraid of the pain! Seriously, plucking my eyebrows makes me cringe and my eyes water. Eventually I'll figure something out. Maybe I'll buy some silky smooth pants I can wear to bed so you won't have to worry about the "in-between" stage.

I may be a little crazy, but it's your fault. I'm not really sure how, but I'll figure it out soon. I swear I was a normal person at one point in my life. I think the only thing that changed was the addition of children. That complicated things very quickly. So basically, I blame you. But hey, it puts a spark into our marriage, doesn't it? That's important. We don't want this thing to fall flat.

I get mad at you daily. For what? I don't know. Depends. I'm just sayin'. You know my temper. Usually it's small things. By just FYI: I like when you stay near me when I'm mad. I want you to shut up, sit next to me and let me yell at you in my head. Then I'm done. I don't know why, but I do. Again, look at the above paragraph.

And I love you. You gave me my boys. You gave me a family. You gave me your love and your life. We're a team. You are my best friend, for real. All I want is for whenever I do something weird that may or may not get you mad to think, "Oh yeah, she's crazy..." Don't say it out loud, though. I'm in denial.

Love,

Your Wifey

P.S. (Totally unrelated) With the work schedule going how it is, I'm pretty sure our wine collection will start depleting. Just so you know. I may start tomorrow...or rather, today.