The Hubster's Brushes with Death-#2

I didn't think I'd have anything else to write so quickly about the Hubster's Brushes with Death, but I think the Hubby may be a slow learner.

You ever have one of those days (or nights with me, since I work in the bestest squadron ever and they hold onto us all night-but I digress) that just is NOT-YOUR-DAY-AT-ALL. Some days you kind of get a warning, but this day it was like a big slap in the face.

It was 1 a.m.-ish, I can't remember exactly, and I was all like holyfriggincow, are we really leaving this early? So everyone bolts and I'm grabbing my stuff. *sharp inhale* Where the heck are my keys?

And of course, I panic. It's really a super long story, but to make this shorter and more readable I'll put it in a nutshell:

Gloria misplaces keys, freaks out, retraces steps, tears shop apart, cannotfindherfrigginkeys!! I even went out to our large dumpster to see if it were at all possible to go digging through it and find our trash bag. Hey, it could happen. I am near the brink of losing my mind, so those keys could have ended in a trash bag. It wasn't, but that's ok. I didn't feel like wading through disgustingness.

So they are lost. L-O-S-T. I call Hubster and he's half asleep. Thankfully he doesn't get angry, because by now he's sick of me losing stuff. I swear, it's a hobby of mine.

Then I wait until morning...until 5:30 in the morning for him to give me the spare car key. I drive home, crash, get up and go to work. I lost an entire day with my kids, because I was stupid.

Worst part ever was that they were in the freaking shop. I mean, it's good, those are expensive keys that are all fancy and have that anti-theft feature (read: expensive). Still, that's depressing news to hear.

So, Hubster comes around and I have to give him back our house key and he sees that I am in a bit of a foul mood. He then asks, "What's wrong."

That's the wrong thing to ask.

She-hulk was about to break loose.

Me: What's wrong? What's wrong!? Hmm...let's think. I lost my keys, spent all night AT WORK waiting for you to get here. I'm freaking tired as hell. I lost an entire day with the boys AND my phone isn't working now. And it's all my fault, because they were in the shop, which means I was just an idiot and didn't look good enough. What could be wrong?"

Hubby: [eyes wide] Uh. Ah. Well, at least you found them, that's good. You saved us a lot of money. And you'll get other days with the boys. It's not the end of the world.

Me: [glares]

Hubby: [sweating] And we can always buy you a new phone. Whatever you want.

Me: I have to go to work.

Hubby: I love you!

Me: *sigh* I love you, too. Bye.

Note of advice to all of you men out there: if something went wrong in your wife's night, day, whatever...never, never ask what is wrong. If you forget, just wait. She will eventually remind you.

Otherwise you might find yourself close to death!...again.